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Hello, everyone.
We want to welcome a very special guest to our park today,
the President's daughter.
PHOTOGRAPHER: Big smile.
Hello, Alexandra. Where's your father?
He'll be here. I'll make sure of it.
Hey, there, little Miss First Lady,
I'm Dinky Winks, owner of this fine establishment.
You ready to ride the ride and shrill to the thrills, spills, and chills?
Yes, I am.
Right this way!
Of course, right behind me, the world-famous Whippersnapper.
Guaranteed to make grown men howl like a cub wolf at weaning time.
Over on our left,
the Nervewracker. (EXCLAIMS) Painful, but fun.
On your other left is, well, my personal favorite, the Vomiter.
Now, we tell people not to ride it on a full stomach,
but you know folks, they just don't listen.
But why bother with any of those?
You're here for my latest and greatest.
For your personal amusement and complete gratification,
I humbly offer
the Juggler.
-But is it fast? -(LAUGHS) Is it fast? Let's see, shall we?
The riders are strapped into the bubble.
The hydrobot lifts the bubble high into the air.
(MECHANICAL CHUCKLING)
And spins it round and round as fast as the United States Government will allow.
The bubble spins, turns, flips, and bounces.
(ALL SCREAMING)
And then it juggles you.
(SCREAMING)
I want to go on!
I thought so.
Now, understand, the override precautions are top-notch,
modified by yours truly.
I thought her father was supposed to be here.
SECRET AGENT 1 : The President has more pressing business
than to spend an entire Sunday in a theme park.
No one's that busy.
Have fun, kid.
We'll take it a little slow, just make it fun.
(GASPS)
-Can't you get her down? -Somebody's jammed the override.
Why, that little troublemaker.
SECRET AGENT 1 : Remain calm. Remain calm.
We are the Secret Service. Everything is under control.
-There's nothing we can do, sir. -What?
SECRET AGENT 2: The weight of our agents will prevent us from ascending
the shaky precipice on which she now stands.
She'll fall.
Don't we have any smaller agents?
Bring me Agents SK1 and SK2.
Coming through. Coming through.
-We're ready. -Use this, the latest gear.
CARMEN: We get to keep them afterwards?
SECRET AGENT 1 : (STAMMERING) No.
Yes. Of course.
Let's rock.
You're sure they can handle this?
If not, there are two others who can.
Bring me Agents SK3 and SK4 as backup.
We got company.
JUNI: Gary and Gerti. What are they doing here?
-GARY: Excuse me there, sport. -Where did you get that?
Latest in electro-riser technology,
with new composite materials and AI Brainology.
I can see you don't know what I'm talking about.
-Gary, this is my rescue. -We'll take it from here.
"Latest gear," my butt.
No, no, no! You'll just make it worse!
Now you done it.
-Over here! -Get away from me!
-Alexandra, take my hand! -Back off!
I want my father to come up here and get me.
But he's the President of the United States.
No, he's my father.
He was my father before he ever became President,
and he should still be my father now.
I want him up here!
Sir, we have a situation.
She's got the Transmooker.
This is now a code-red situation. Get her down now!
The point is, you and your father need to have a talk.
Up here may not be the best place.
Come with me, and I promise you, the two of you will have that talk.
How can you promise that?
I'm Level Two. I can order him to talk to you.
Hi, Gerti.
-What you doing? -I'm trying to stop the ride.
-Without disengaging the axis? -Exactly.
Then stop what you're doing.
You see, the ride is designed to work like a giant magnet.
If you reverse the polarization, bye-bye, President's daughter.
See you around.
-Okay. -Wait!
I took this from my father's office this morning.
-I'm sure he'll want it back. -Careful!
Look, Cortez, you take her down, and I'll take this down.
That way, we both look good.
I'm not doing this for looks, Gary.
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
Thank goodness you're all right, Alexandra.
We were worried sick.
Boys?
I think this is what you're looking for.
She swiped it from the President.
You're in big trouble this time, missy.
Wait a minute. I promised her she could talk to her father.
She'll talk to him, all right. We'll make sure of that.
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
-Promise me one thing. -What?
No more rinky-dink assignments.
So, you want the Ukata assignment, huh?
Your duties are assigned to you by the agency,
same as everyone, same as me.
I know. It's just that we've learned so much.
Juni and I are more than capable of taking bigger assignments.
But that's not your decision to make.
The Spy Kids Organization is still new,
and if you're a Level Three or even a Level Two,
you cannot go on a mission alone.
You need more experience.
-Come on. -Okay, Mom.
If you're looking for top-secret information, just go straight to the source.
WOMAN: Welcome to the Pentagon.
How did you do that? You can't do that. There is no hacking in this household.
I know. Sorry.
Show me that again.
I know this hair thing is one of my weakest points.
Wait one minute.
You're gonna look cool.
In fact, you're looking cool already. Like me.
Like Poppy.
And it's kind of emotional to me. You know?
A knot.
We are gonna...
You... Aha! Aha!
We got it. That's my boy. Last touch.
(GREGORIO CLEARS THROAT)
-You want me to tie it for you? -No, it's okay. R.A.L.P.H. can do it.
Bow tie, R.A.L.P.H. And not too tight.
Thanks, R.A.L.P.H.
Interesting. But he can never, ever replace
me.
Pow!
Not yet, but I think that new upgrade comes in next week.
GREGORIO: Uh-huh.
Only joking.
Hey!
Kids. Kids. Kids. Kids.
Joking?
-Thank you. -Yes, ma'am.
Okay. Remember, kids, this is a very important night for your father.
And if he's named director of the OSS,
be sure to stand up and give him a big hug, all right?
What if Dad doesn't win?
INGRID: Then give him a bigger hug.
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
Yao Ling, Wa Ling, this is Danielle and Dione Daluc.
-Hello. -Hi.
They created Infolink, sort of an online trading system
for swapping international secrets.
-Hey. -Hello.
-Champagne? -Can't have any of that.
Sorry.
Something doesn't feel right.
No wonder, your buddy's here, your buddy with the weird laugh.
He does not have a weird laugh.
-We were just talking about you. -Really?
(HIGH-PITCHED LAUGH)
Wow. You look great, Carmen.
-You want to dance? -Sure.
I don't think that's a good idea, Gary.
Family rules say you need to ask my father's permission.
You know, you should've had that suit tailored, Juni.
It's bunching up around your gut, and it makes your head look way too big.
CARMEN: You have to excuse my little brother.
He's still a little upset about the Juggler incident.
A good agent controls his temper.
Just be glad my dad isn't here.
He gets really psycho about this sort of thing.
Hi, Dad.
You remember Gary. He's in our organization.
I was just asking your daughter for a dance.
-You know how to dance? -Fairly well, sir.
-What kind of dances? -All types of dances.
-What about tango? -Yes.
-Mambo? -Fairly well.
-Rumba? -Yes.
-Cha-cha-cha? -Seven steps.
-Bossa nova? -Mmm-hmm.
-Merengue? -Of course.
What about waltz?
-Yeah, I can waltz. -Show me.
Right.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Something like that.
All right. You can go to dance.
Watch your older sister.
-JUNI: Alexandra? -Yes?
-What are you doing in there? -Dancing.
Do you always carry this many Secret Service around?
My dad's idea. He's gotten a little paranoid.
Well, would you dance with me?
No.
All right, hold on a second, guys. Level Two, break it up!
Why not?
I only dance ballet.
What an incredible coincidence.
So do I.
Well, Juni, I must say, you're a man of many talents.
One tries.
Uh, could you find your seats? We're ready to start.
I must go.
MAN: Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.
Thank you.
I am proud of the OSS and their newly formed Spy Kids Division
for their outstanding accomplishments yesterday.
Gary and Gerti Giggles not only saved my daughter...
What is he talking about? I saved her!
-Juni... -But more importantly,
if not most importantly,
they safely retrieved the Transmooker device
that my daughter accidentally took from my office earlier that day.
Now it is my great pleasure to announce the new director of the OSS...
Gregor...
Donnagon Giggles.
Gary and Gerti Giggles are the kind of agents we need
to turn the OSS around.
I am proud to award them these Level One badges.
-What? -Which will enable them
to take on real missions,
something challenging, like the Ukata assignment.
Yes!
I wanted that assignment. This is so unfair.
I am proud to claim them
as our organization's top Spy Kid operatives!
Something's not right.
And I'm also proud to claim them, of course, as my children.
This is all wrong.
To our Spy Kids.
ALL: To our Spy Kids.
To our Spy Kids.
(GULPS)
This...
(ALL GROAN)
Sleepers.
They're after the Transmooker device!
(KNUCKLES CRACKING)
Take 'em down.
(KIDS SCREAMING)
-Pull! -Pull!
(YELLS)
Back off, squirt.
Give me that back!
(RUMBLING)
(GROANING)
-You all right, sir? -Yeah.
CARMEN: Juni, get off of him!
No, no. They took the Transmooker device!
They took the Transmooker device!
(PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
WOMAN ON PA: Would the following Spy Kid cadets
please report to the psychic abilities seminar,
Mike Cardenas and Daniel Duluth.
GIRL: It's my turn. WOMAN: Are you sure?
All right, your last name is?
I had the Transmooker in my hand,
but you know Juni, he wanted to claim it for himself.
-Okay, that should do it. Thank you, Son. -Right.
If that Transmooker device falls into the wrong hands,
we're doomed.
Thank you, Mr. President. That'll be all.
-We're doomed! -Understood, sir.
Here.
MAN: Floop's Fooglie!
Starring Minion.
And Carmenita...
(SIGHS)
Thanks.
I was fired.
I know.
I hacked into the OSS data files and saw the news.
It was partly my fault, I suppose.
-I'm sorry. -Well, I guess that's that.
Let's go to the tree house. I got an idea.
I guess I could always set up
a small detective agency out here or something.
You're thinking small again, Juni.
JUNI: The old tree house, needs another helicopter pad.
CARMEN: It needs a paint job, is what it needs.
AUTOMATED VOICE: Your name?
Carmen Elizabeth Juanita Echo Sky Brava Cortez.
Your name?
Juni Rocket Racer Rebelde Cortez.
You know, I'm kind of looking forward to retirement,
get back to all the projects and dreams I left behind.
Oh, stop it, Juni.
(BEEPING)
Look, do you want your job back or not?
That's right, reinstated Level Two.
So now we can get back the missing Transmooker.
How?
Looks like Gary and Gerti are about to get briefed on the Ukata assignment.
We should listen in.
-Is R.A.L.P.H. still at your office? -If they haven't cleaned it out yet.
(BEEPING)
R.A.L.P.H., get to the briefing room.
We need you to spy on Gary and Gerti.
Make sure no one sees you.
DONNAGON: There is a Bermuda Triangle of sorts off the coast of Madagascar.
As you may remember, this is an area
where some of our OSS cargo ships have been disappearing.
Good boy, R.A.L.P.H.
The survivors of these disappearances tell delusional tales
of a mysterious island populated by strange creatures.
Obviously, no land mass is located anywhere near there,
so these tales were dismissed, and the agents fired.
However, the magnet ship that captured the Transmooker device
was last seen in this same area.
So, we need a small ship, piloted by two small agents
to go in and take a closer look.
If you find anything out of the ordinary, you return, you report it back here.
-We accept. -We accept.
You bet we accept.
Come home, R.A.L.P.H. Good work.
It's a great assignment, but Gary and Gerti have it, and I'm fired.
And I'm reassigning you to the OSS.
-Don't tell me you're hacking... -Already done.
Level Two status, reinstated.
-Carmen, you can't do this. -I already did it.
I'd take it one step further.
We're assigning ourselves to the Ukata assignment.
I'm programming a new destination for Gary and Gerti.
Now, that I got to be a part of.
AUTOMATED VOICE: State your name, please.
(IN GARY'S VOICE) Gary Giggles.
Access denied.
It knows you're not him.
(IMITATES GARY'S HIGH-PITCHED LAUGH)
Confirmed.
New destination.
How about Gobi Desert?
Stop it, Juni.
What? Don't want your boyfriend to go so far away?
-He's not my boyfriend. -Okay, then.
Destination confirmed.
There. What did we just do again?
We're gonna get the Transmooker device back
so we can clear your name.
We just have to solve the case before anybody finds out what we're up to.
-Are you with me? -Okay.
Then let's go.
(BOTH GASP)
Hello?
Hey, what are you doing up there?
Sorry, we thought you were somebody else.
Who gave you a key?
Did you forget who built you this place?
Come down from there.
I brought you all-new gadgets.
Check it out, the very latest spy watch,
total communication center, right there on your wrist.
Cell phone, Internet access, satellite TV, you name it.
That baby will do everything but tell you what time it is.
It doesn't tell time?
No, there was so much stuffed into it, there was no more room for the clock.
-Cool. -Are you sure these are new?
We can't be running around with outdated equipment.
Close your eyes and hold out your wrist.
I'm gonna give you the one gadget you should always carry.
A rubber band?
No, it's a Machete elastic wonder.
It's a rubber band.
Yeah, but it's also the world's greatest gadget, 999 uses.
And the important thing is you have to figure out what those uses are with this.
He's right. Use number one, a stylish bracelet.
Use number two...
(EXCLAIMS)
I'm gonna make a fortune with these.
-Are you sure this is going to work? -Just be cool.
As far as anybody knows, you're back on the force.
Hey, Uncle Felix.
(CHUCKLES)
I'm not your uncle.
I know. It's just easier to call you that.
-You don't mind, do you? -Of course not. (CHUCKLES)
Welcome back, Juni. Says here you were reinstated.
Sure does, doesn't it?
He was fired and rehired all in the same day.
Okay. Let me bring up the keys to the Dragon Spy Five.
Cake.
6 o'clock.
Wow. You're looking good with the new gear, Carmen.
-The latest stuff. -GERTI: Very cool.
Only we had that weeks ago. Here's what's really new.
Nanotechnology, everything you're wearing is right here on my wrist.
It's super accurate and oh, so light.
It even tells time.
-How did you get that? -GARY: It's all prototype, Juni.
You can't be running around with those mass-produced gadgets.
Just means everyone's got them. I always go with the prototype.
Sure, they're a little buggy, but I can deal.
I accidentally squashed him on my way out of the OSS building.
Sorry about that.
He was outdated, anyway, so think of it as a mercy killing.
Gary and Gerti Giggles,
you have assignment SEIKJU9.
Good luck.
Don't hurt yourselves with that outdated gear.
Remember, an agent is only as good as his gadgets.
What? You have the Ukata assignment? Very nice.
Good luck.
Thanks, Uncle Felix.
I'm not your uncle.
Oh, nice sub.
AUTOMATED VOICE: Welcome to the Dragon Spy DLX.
Seems like they get more and more sophisticated each month.
Everything is automated!
Now picking your nose.
Ugh.
Little brothers.
Let's check our lunchboxes for mission updates.
Sorry, R.A.L.P.H. You were the best spy on the force.
Juni, leave it alone. He's dead.
-Thanks to your buddy Gary. -It was an accident.
You like him and believe him?
I don't like him, that much.
-Gary's a bad guy, Carmen. -Maybe I know that.
I think I can change him.
I do not understand you.
And you never will.
French fry, sir?
Ow!
Give me that!
Strange, tales of a mysterious island,
disappearing ships, mysterious creatures,
and yet, no information anywhere on the OSS cargo or the magnet ship.
What's Donnagon doing there? He wasn't OSS Director yet.
These are old OSS secrets,
and I know just the person we can call for advice.
Who?
(SINGING) Who?
What?
When?
Where?
-Who? -What?
-When? -Where?
And why?
I delight in
-What... -Do I intend to find
This time?
-Run around! -Jumping down!
Bounce and bound and...
Find another way to duck and hide
This isle of
Dreams
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
Hello?
Yes.
One moment, please.
Cut!
(SIGHS) Who is it again?
(GASPS)
Juni Cortez! What can I do for you?
I mean, you've done so much for me.
Your robot counterparts are the surprise hit characters of my show!
Say hello.
-Hello -Hello
Actually, Carmen wants a word with Mr. Minion.
Oh.
He's right here.
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
Minion is practicing a four-part harmony.
You have one minute.
(GREETS IN SPANISH)
How you doing, Minion?
Things are a little Floopy around here for my taste,
but it's a living.
I need some information on your favorite subject, the OSS.
I need to make a call.
Okay, you ready? Ukata. Transmooker.
WOMAN: The President's daughter is unavailable.
CARMEN: Manage.
Press one to record.
Mean anything to you?
Smells like the work of Donnagon Giggles.
He had first contact with the Transmooker technology.
You think Donnagon's the one behind all this?
You're talking to a man with four heads. Trust me, the guy is dirt.
What should we look for?
First, find the island. Then find the Island Man.
That would have been Donnagon's contact.
Okay. Thanks, Minion.
Be a good girl and swat your brother for me.
Oh, I will.
(BEEPING)
Something's wrong! Take the wheel!
Got to go. Good luck!
Slow down! We're nearing destination zone.
The radius where all the disappearances occurred is right
here!
We've been shut down!
Hold onto something!
(GROANING)
All power is off, even the emergency power.
My flashlight doesn't even work.
We're stuck, aren't we?
Let's get out of here.
Rebreathers.
You got to do it by hand.
What next?
Nope. Hand, Carmen.
Unbelievable.
Low-tech!
Here we go.
Should we travel light or heavy?
We may not be coming back down here.
Let's go heavy.
Inflate-a-suits?
We don't have much choice.
At least the masks work.
I think it's because they're valve-operated, not electrical-based.
-It's so strange. -Good luck.
You, too!
Stay close!
Oh, great. I'm fat!
Was it supposed to do this?
It has an electrical automatic shutoff which didn't work.
Luckily, we ran out of air before the suits exploded.
JUNI: Well, we can still laugh.
CARMEN: At what?
At whatever you can imagine Gary and Gerti are doing right about now.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Gerti, where are we?
Well, according to my coordinates, we are...
I think that...
(BOTH GROANING)
Camel poop!
Someone's gonna pay!
Cortezes.
(DOOR BUZZES)
I like your new office. It's smaller, cozy.
Especially smaller.
Oh!
So many successful missions.
Amazing, isn't it?
-Remember this one? -Oh.
-Which mission is that? -Mexico.
Of course.
Actually, that was the one mission we never accomplished.
Ingrid, don't start with your parents again.
It's funny you should mention them.
No. When I mention your parents, it is the exact opposite of funny.
Doesn't it bother you that we never got their full blessing?
Frankly, you deserve another chance
-to show them... -All right, all right.
Invite them if you want, but I won't be here.
Tell them that I had to go on another mission,
that we're having a little problem on the moon.
My father loves the moon.
You invited them already, didn't you?
Define "invite."
-DONNAGON: Cortezes. -What?
-I have some bad news. May I come in? -(BOTH STAMMERING)
-Certainly, sir. -Yes, sir.
Great.
Here he is.
(SIGHS)
Two of our Spy Kid operatives are lost on the Ukata assignment.
Your children had that assignment.
I'm so sorry, Donnagon. How can we help?
Actually, my children are safe somewhere in the Gobi Desert, I believe.
I'm sorry to say that Carmen and Juni
are somehow the ones on the Ukata assignment,
a computing error of some kind.
-Communications? -None.
Their Dragon Spy ship doesn't show up on radar or satellite.
Greg, Ingrid, you guys risked your lives once before to save me.
Let me go now
and personally bring your children back.
No. Thank you.
Thank you, Donnagon, but, respectfully, we have to do this ourselves.
If you could provide tactical backup and surveillance support of our efforts,
-we'll leave immediately. -Okay, yeah.
Ingrid...
I know this may be a bad time,
but your parents are here.
But you guys told me you were coming next Tuesday.
This is a very dangerous assignment, and you have to wait here.
We want to help.
INGRID: Don't worry.
You taught me everything I know.
Yes.
But not everything we know.
Of course not, Dad. See you in a few hours.
Thanks, honey.
I still don't like him.
Juni?
Was that there before?
That wasn't there a minute ago, was it?
Are you kicking me?
I'm way over here!
I felt something against my foot.
There's something under me! Come look!
I don't see anything, Juni. Let's just concentrate on getting to shore.
Okay, it's about 200 yards.
If we kick steadily at one foot per kick,
we'll reach it in...
JUNI: Twenty-five minutes?
I don't know. My calculator doesn't work.
(BOTH SCREAMING)
Juni, what did you do?
JUNI: The air's coming out of our suits!
CARMEN: We're heading towards shore!
"Travel heavy!"
Good idea!
All right. Give it a rest.
Okay, we're gonna set up a campsite,
put up the tent, build a little fire.
JUNI: And roast marshmallows?
I can't believe this!
-What happened? -Nothing, that's just it.
That was supposed to make an instant campfire,
and that was supposed to make a shelter.
None of our gadgets work.
You mean we have to use our heads?
Yes.
Ouch.
DONNAGON: Big office.
Director of the OSS' office.
Big.
(SIGHS)
Did you find the source of equal or greater power?
It emanates from the north side of the island.
Have you located the Island Man?
He's somewhere underground.
Yeah, well, start digging. I'm on my way.
Come on, Juni. Let's go check out the island.
I just set up camp. See?
Sure wish Gary was here.
He'd want to find out who was behind all this.
Oh, man!
All right, let's go.
Wow!
This place is amazing!
Check out that rock!
-Looks like a hot dog. -Uh-huh.
Well, I've seen enough. Let's go back to the beach.
-What? -(WHISPERING) Listen.
I hear something humming.
Somebody here has power. We need to find out who and for what.
AUTOMATED VOICE: Destination, Ukata.
Estimated time of arrival, one minute and counting.
How fast are we going?
-85 knots. -Go faster.
With pleasure.
Faster.
-Can't go faster. -Faster.
I broke the fast thingy.
Faster!
(ALARM SOUNDING)
(THUD)
(GERTI GROANING)
All right. Now what?
This is terrific. You know, this is just great. You really did it this time, Gerti.
Are you kicking me?
No. I'm way over here, cheese ball.
(GROWLING)
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(BOTH GROANING)
I'm gonna zap that sucker to bits!
Come here!
Wait!
Save it for the Cortezes.
Excellent idea.
I don't get it! I saw it go through this wall.
(SIGHS) What's your assessment, Juni?
I'd think better with food in my belly.
I think we should go up there and check it out.
-Up there, to the top of the volcano? -Yep.
Not even if my micro grapplers were working.
-Gary would be brave enough to do it. -Nope.
Nothing you can say can change my mind.
(TRUMPETING)
-What did you just say? -I didn't.
Race you to the top!
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Volcano.
Juni, stay back.
It's not active.
(SQUEALING)
(JUNI SCREAMS)
Juni!
What are you waiting for? Get me out of here!
If my auto retractor was working, I'd get us both back up there!
Okay. I'm gonna grab your hand.
Okay.
(EXCLAIMS)
My cell phone!
Why'd you stop? Something wrong?
Close your eyes.
Why?
(BOTH SCREAM)
Juni!
-What? -I'm sorry!
How long have we been falling?
I don't know. My watch doesn't tell time.
Best guess?
I'd say about three hours.
Feels like four.
How could you be eating at a time like this?
You know that tickling sensation you get when you fall?
Of course.
That pretty much went away after the first hour.
-Ground! -(YELLS)
What happened?
I don't know! We're floating!
Who are you?
-Do you see something? -Over there, hiding.
-What do you want? -I want to get down.
I'm Carmen Cortez, Special Agent of the OSS.
I'm Romero, sole inhabitant of this island of Leeke Leeke.
Sole human inhabitant, that is.
-And you are? -Tired and hungry.
Nice to meet you, tired and hungry.
-Careful! You'll crush my island! -Sorry.
We just fell four hours. We're a little clumsy right now.
You weren't falling. It was an illusion.
Magic?
Science.
(ANIMALS CRYING)
Quickly, we must get somewhere safe!
I'm a genetic specialist.
I needed a controlled environment for my experiments.
The creatures we've been hearing?
My experiments, run amok.
What happened?
I thought I would make a fortune from it.
Kids everywhere would have their own miniature zoos,
right there in their bedrooms.
A miniature zoo?
God's creatures on a manageable scale.
(ANIMALS SQUAWKING)
Unbelievable.
I called it "Romero's Zoo,"
genetically miniaturized animals.
Lions, tigers, bears, penguins.
Monkeys.
(CHITTERING)
Monkeys in a barrel.
Careful. Careful.
One day, I accidentally mixed up two or three different test tubes
and created a new species altogether.
Romero's Zoo Too.
An entirely new miniature zoo
where each species is unlike any creature you've ever seen.
-Horse-fly? -Uh-huh.
-Cat-fish. -(MEWS)
Spider-monkey?
-Bull-frog. -(SNORTING)
-Slizzards. -Whoa!
Stay away from those.
And so, I started to think,
if only I could make them all a wee bit bigger,
you know, for kids with meatier hands.
That's where things went very wrong.
I applied a growth serum,
and they took to it all too well.
(EXCLAIMING)
No!
And I've been locked up in here ever since.
I'm afraid to go out there again.
They've tried to gobble me up on more than one occasion.
Why do they despise me so?
I created them.
Do you think God stays in heaven
because he, too, lives in fear of what he's created
here on Earth?
Stop looking at me like that.
I'm no loon.
What I'm still trying to figure out is why this island doesn't show up
on even our most advanced satellites.
I created a cloaking device to shield my island from curious eyes.
Anything electronically powered that comes within a mile radius
instantly shuts down.
Any radar that passes over me is displaced,
creating the illusion that my island doesn't exist.
The Transmooker device.
How did you know?
Your cloaking device is highly coveted.
People everywhere are trying to get their hands on it.
(GERTI SCREAMING IN DISTANCE)
Are you sure we're the only humans here?
There they are. Two children, judging by their size.
What is this?
It's a miniature of the island.
The center point of the volcano provides a gravitational basis
for which my miniature creatures can line up exactly
to their larger clone counterparts.
So, wherever your miniature creatures are on this model,
it's where the bigger ones are outside?
Correct. I can keep track of their whereabouts this way.
See? The two intruder children are being chased by a slizzard.
-Gary and Gerti. -Leave 'em.
We have to go help them!
They shouldn't be snooping around my island to begin with!
-I'm with you, dude. -We have to help them.
I'm not going out there! I'll be eaten!
What a bizarre man.
GERTI: Help us! Somebody! GARY: Help!
JUNI: What are you guys doing down there?
That's real funny, clown. Get us out!
We tried to activate our micro grapplers, but they didn't deploy!
Nothing works here.
Yeah, we know that now. Thanks for the update, carrot top.
-Juni, come back. They need our help. -I'll help them.
I want to get him back over here so I can push him back over myself.
-Hurry up. -Come on.
Here, Gary. Give me your hand.
Thank you, Carmen.
Here, Gerti, give me your hand.
Just wait till my father gets here.
Your father's coming?
-Where are you taking me now, Carmen? -CARMEN: Hold on.
Why are you still hiding? We're kids, not monsters.
What's the difference?
Relax. They're OSS Agents, as well.
-Level One. -They're Donnagon's kids.
Agent Donnagon?
You work for the OSS, don't you?
-I work for a man named Donnagon. -Who is this guy?
Donnagon's not interested in your creatures.
Why not?
The Transmooker device that hides your island,
that's what Donnagon really wants.
That's not nearly as interesting.
Now that Donnagon's head of the OSS, he has the power to take it from you.
What are you babbling about now, Juni?
The Transmooker you took from the President's daughter, Gary.
It was just a prototype.
The real Transmooker device is here on this island.
It's even more powerful and can shut down all technology on the planet.
You said your father's on his way. I think he's coming to pick it up.
You're all liars.
Do you really think you're gonna turn us on our own father?
Did your dad tell you the mission you went on
was just a setup for Carmen and me?
-Why not? -He has his reasons.
That's what being a good spy is all about, trust no one.
How to Be a Spy, we've read it.
Read it again. A good spy makes no binding connections with family or friends.
I don't believe in that, do you?
GARY: If you want to be a good spy, you better believe it.
My father's a great spy, so let's grow up, shall we?
Whatever my father's done, it's what it takes to play in the big world.
Like it or not. Come on, Gerti. Let's go.
-He's right. -Why can't you side with me just once?
There are no sides. You're right, and he's right, too.
That's what being a spy means.
-Well, I don't like it. -Then quit.
-I will. -Yeah, right.
(KEYBOARD CLACKING)
INGRID: Donnagon was right.
Their Dragon Spy doesn't show up anywhere on radar.
I am not interested in finding the sub.
Remember that year I insisted on doing the children's dental work myself?
How could I forget?
I installed a nonelectrical tracking device in their teeth,
my own invention.
But I haven't been able to test it,
until
now.
-INGRID: Honey, it works! -Whoa!
Hard to believe.
But according to this,
they're in the middle of the ocean.
Above sea level.
But where they are on the map, there's no land mass.
How can that be?
(WHIRRING)
Now what?
Something's got us.
(SCREAMS)
What is it?
Your mother.
-Mom? -We wanted to join you.
Are you nuts?
We needed a bigger boat.
And we brought real food.
None of that freeze-dried stuff you thinks’ so chic.
-Son-in-law. -Yeah?
Make yourself useful.
Why are you here?
We wanted to help get our grandchildren back!
Uh-uh.
We will get our grandchildren back.
(SPEAKS SPANISH)
Wait. You've got something on your lip.
-What? (EXCLAIMS) -Got it.
Mom, Dad, I am a big girl now, and I can take care of myself, okay?
And Gregorio and I, we can take care of finding our children.
No, you don't seem to understand.
This isn't you and Gregorio simply saving the world again.
This time, we all have much more to lose if you fail.
Carmen and Juni.
You cannot come with us. It is too dangerous.
Oh, you mean we can't handle ourselves.
May I have my moustache back? Please?
If Donnagon really is on his way,
we have to destroy the Transmooker.
Where is it?
The other side of the island. Not easy to get to.
The journey alone is more dangerous than the Transmooker itself.
I made sure of it.
Show us.
You're not going out there, are you?
CARMEN: We don't have much choice, do we?
With those monsters running around?
I don't believe they're monsters. Maybe you shouldn't, either.
-What should I believe? -JUNI: I don't know.
You're always in here hiding. Maybe they just wanna be with you.
Be with me?
They wanna be picking me out of their teeth, is what they wanna be.
You just gotta show them who's boss.
You're not afraid?
First thing you gotta do is...
Fall into this pit.
How does it work?
Supposedly, they're run magnetically.
We should be able to ride over a determined path.
We have to get the Transmooker before they do.
Right.
(SCREECHING)
Slizzards. Oh, no.
This is cool.
(THUDDING)
(SCREECHING)
Juni! Juni!
I think we should get off now.
-Why? -Trust me!
(SCREAMS)
Jump now!
Gary and Gerti.
I told you they were following us.
AUTOMATED VOICE: You have one new message.
Message one.
Hello, Alexandra, it's me, Agent Juni Cortez. I'm on a mission.
I know I shouldn't be.
But I had an idea for you and your father.
Simply tell him you need to talk to him.
Tell him it's nothing urgent, but someday it might be urgent.
And you need to open the communication lines right now.
So give me a call. Love to hear from you.
And right now it's about...
Silly me, I forgot my watch doesn't tell time.
-And... -(BEEPING)
CARMEN: Something's wrong. Take the wheel.
Gotta go. Good luck!
-Juni! -AUTOMATED VOICE: End of message.
HELGA: Gregorio, the signal
-requires that you go around... -He won't listen to you.
-He won't listen to you, Mother. -Choose another direction.
He wants to make sure he loses the children again.
If you would only listen to us and do what we're saying.
You're tracking them all wrong.
Ingrid, tell him he's tracking them all wrong.
Mom, Dad, I have told you before, and I will tell you again,
no backseat driving.
When Gregorio is at the wheel, no one tells him what to do.
(SIGHS)
Turn here, honey.
Sorry.
VALENTIN: You're sure you're reading that map correctly?
The coordinates correspond to Carmen and Juni's current position.
These are my children. And I will find them my way!
Blah, blah, blah.
I never understand a single word he's saying. Never.
Not only were we set up, but I bet Donnagon knew all along
that you'd hack your way into taking this assignment.
I was wondering the same thing.
Juni, open up.
What?
Dad installed these trackers in case we ever got lost.
(SCREAMS)
Hurry. Take mine out.
And why are we doing this?
(EXCLAIMS)
-When we get lost, who saves us? -Mom and Dad.
Now, if Mom and Dad also disappear,
who's gonna stop Donnagon from using the Transmooker device?
Donnagon wants us all together
so he can destroy the island and all of us with it.
Mom and Dad, even Romero.
We can't let Mom and Dad find us.
Or Donnagon wins.
A big sacrifice.
Family is sacrifice.
What happened? What did you just do?
We lost Carmen.
And Juni?
Juni's still on-line.
I love you.
That can't be.
Okay, okay. What do we do?
I don't know.
(SIGHS)
Maybe this is like the mission of the spies who didn't want to be found.
You know, if they don't want to be found,
maybe their position is compromised.
(EXHALES)
Now, Gregorio, don't tell me you didn't have a backup plan.
Ingrid, was Juni wearing that charm necklace
I sent him for Christmas last year?
-He never takes it off. -Then we got him.
I was worried about Juni's well-being,
so I put a tracer in his necklace.
-There he is. -Thanks, Dad.
Are you sure you don't want me to take over the wheel?
That's funny. It's funny.
Back to work.
Where are we?
Well, not far from the antechamber.
I think it's behind us.
(GROWLING)
Don't move. Maybe it's friendly.
(ROARS)
Maybe it's not.
Let's go!
(BOTH COUGHING)
It's an underwater cave. We'll have to go all the way around.
That'll take all day.
There must be a faster...
(SNARLS)
JUNI: Wow. What is this place?
Do you think that's real gold?
Gross! This is so slimy.
I hate mold.
CARMEN: I can hear your thoughts.
-JUNI: What? -(GASPS) And you can hear mine!
Our mouths aren't moving, but we can hear what we're thinking.
Say something.
(INAUDIBLE)
(BOTH GASP)
CARMEN: How strange.
We can only communicate by thought.
JUNI: Magic.
CARMEN: Think something.
JUNI: Uh...
Your feet stink.
CARMEN: I wonder.
(SNIFFING)
Oh!
Okay, this place is really weird.
-Let's go. -Good thinking.
JUNI: Now, this is more like it.
Treasure.
Skeletons.
Dead skeletons.
CARMEN: Is there any other kind?
This must've been where the pirate prisoners and treasure were kept.
This must've been a pretty special necklace for them to die fighting over it.
One necklace to rule them all...
-Put it back, Juni! -I didn't take it yet.
CARMEN: I can read your mind, remember?
This land is ancient and cursed.
If you take anything, you'll doom us both. Let's go!
Come on! I think I found a way out.
JUNI: Which way?
I don't know. You pick, right or left?
Right.
CARMEN: Wait a minute.
Oh, no!
We went in a circle.
What?
Come on. Let's try it again.
Come on, Juni! I know what we did wrong.
We've gotta go left.
Maybe I should put this back. Uh-oh.
Where are the dead skeletons?
(CARMEN SCREAMING)
Carmen!
Juni!
Help me!
(GRUNTING)
(GROWLS)
Hey, bonehead!
Oh, no.
-Why is this happening? -I don't know!
Wait a minute!
You took something, didn't you?
No! You told me not to!
-Why would I? -(SQUEALING)
Juni!
Carmen!
Wait.
I'm sorry.
(ECHOING) Carmen! Carmen!
(GROANS)
-You, too, huh? -Yeah.
Where's your brother? Did he get eaten?
No. He's out there looking for Juni.
You know he squashed Juni's bug on purpose.
Yeah, I know.
Now he wants to squash Juni.
Don't you think we should get out of here?
-Oh. -Mmm-hmm.
Carmen!
I'm dreaming. I am totally dreaming.
And I'm hungry, too.
(GROWLING)
You like honey-roasted ham and potatoes, don't you?
That's what flavor this is.
Highly nutritious.
Packed with protein and essential carbs.
Everything a growing centaur needs.
(BURPS)
You're welcome.
(HISSING)
(JUNI EXCLAIMS)
Well, well, well, your friend likes freeze-dried.
So does mine.
All right, buddy. Let's kick their butts.
-We're waiting. -GARY: Come on.
Can't let you bust up my dad's machine, Juni.
JUNI: Whoa!
So I guess I'll just have to bust you up.
We can take 'em.
JUNI: Come on, buddy. We can take 'em.
I don't think we can take 'em!
Must try and help them. Must.
So, even if your dad is behind all this, you'd still side with him over what's right?
Right?
How do you ever know what's right?
Trust me, when the moment comes, you'll know.
(SQUEALING AND SNORTING)
I think that moment's come.
CARMEN: Jump!
(BOTH SCREAM)
Come on!
Show 'em who's boss.
I'm the boss.
I'm the...
(BLEATING)
(PANTING)
(SNARLING)
JUNI: Look out!
Forward, go, man.
JUNI: Come on, spidey. You can do it. Yeah!
(CHUCKLES) Your creature's lame. So are you, lame-o.
It's all over for you, squirt.
Too bad your dork sister's not here to cheer me on.
(RUMBLING)
(SNARLING)
I don't want to hurt you, Carmen.
You're so full of shiitake mushrooms.
ALL: Ooh!
Put it down, Carmen.
Put it down.
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
(GASPS) Oh!
Okay. All right.
Gerti, a little assistance here.
Don't look at me, Brother. You're fighting a girl.
You're gonna lose.
(GROANS)
I'm siding with you.
Thanks.
But just this once.
Cortezes.
You gonna help me or not?
(LAUGHS EVILLY)
Well, there it is.
How do you know?
'Cause it's big and weird and in the middle of the room.
Good point.
Careful, Juni!
If you don't shut it down right, you can bring the entire world to an end.
-Thanks. -I'm serious.
Well, we have to shut it down.
This turns that off.
And that turns this off.
He said there's something tricky about the third switch.
(HIGH-PITCHED GIGGLE)
JUNI: Too late, Gary. We got here first.
Just stand up against the wall like a good boy and leave us alone.
Nice try, but we brought friends this time.
Romero. What are you doing outside of your cage?
I have no idea.
Donnagon.
Hello, Agents. Warming it up for me?
Are you ready to cooperate this time, Romero?
-I... -DONNAGON: Good.
This should be pain and simple.
What did you do?
He started the Transmooker!
You said three switches.
The entire world will shut down instantly.
Good going, cheese ball.
What do we do?
You must bind together the three toggle switches.
They won't stay up!
-Machete elastic wonder! -Machete elastic wonder!
Here, grab it!
Give it to me. Give it!
-Dad... -Give it to me.
Give it to me
or else...
Give it to him, Carmen.
(FAINT SCREECHING)
(SQUEALING)
-Where'd it go? Where'd it go? -I don't know.
-The spork took it. -Back to its nest.
Don't.
I know where the nest is, Dad.
I also have Romero's instruction book.
Hey!
Brat.
Come on!
It's just over that big hill.
Are you sure this is the right way?
My watch has a GPS satellite, you dope.
Wait a minute. How can this be?
When you took out the Transmooker, the island cloaking device was shut down.
Then what are we doing on foot?
Later, Romero.
(EXCLAIMING)
(ROARING)
There it is! Get up there, Dad! Come on!
Okay, Magna Men, we're gonna need a human ladder starting right here.
Carmen!
-What? -An agent's only as good as her gadgets.
They're heading for the beach.
(GROWLING)
(SNARLING)
Help!
(HORSEFLY WHINNYING)
The kid was right.
JUNI: What are you doing?
Trying to remote-pilot our submarine to the surface so we can get out of here.
Get on your GPS and see where Mom and Dad are.
This can't be right. This shows that they're right next to us.
Oh, no!
That's no way to greet your grandparents.
Come on.
Grandpa!
Ah! Juni. (LAUGHS)
Come here, come here.
Always take this with you wherever you go, and I'll always be there.
JUNI: I promise, Grandpa.
Not you guys!
You don't want to be rescued. You don't want to be saved.
That's all right.
We thought you might need us.
Go talk to your father.
JUNI: Dad! Come on, Dad. Look at me. CARMEN: Hey, Mom.
Two spies who didn't want to be found?
-Yes. -Yes. I like your thinking.
But you know what? Those spies didn't have me for a mom.
JUNI: Come on. CARMEN: Thank you.
Hey.
I'll always need you.
Come on.
Carmen Elizabeth Juanita, come here to your papa.
You okay, hon?
-All right. Information. Quick. -JUNI: Okay.
We have the Transmooker device, but we need to get off this island right now.
What do you think we're here for? Let's go.
We'll explain it on the way.
You won't believe who's behind this.
It couldn't be any more perfect.
This better not be what I think it is.
It's all being taken care of, right?
Get the Transmooker device, Felix.
Felix?
Sorry, Gregorio.
A little power goes a long way, doesn't it?
Reprogram this one, Gerti.
I want to start by wiping the Cortez family from the face of the earth.
Uncle Felix, how could you?
I'm not your uncle.
But we treated you like family.
Donnagon said if I joined him, he wouldn't get rid of me
like he's gonna do to you guys.
You can't argue with that.
-Do you still have power in your watch? -Yep.
-Programming complete, Father. -Thank you, Gerti.
Try remote-piloting the choppers.
Well, Cortezes, any last words?
None that I can say in front of my children.
Not to mention your mother.
Let's settle this the old-fashioned way.
-Kick his butt! -Yeah, kick his butt!
Not like that.
Headbutt.
(ALL EXCLAIM)
(BOTH GROAN)
Sleeper hold.
Use his own weight against him.
Yeah.
-Get up! -Do what I showed you last night!
Suplex.
-Even I can fight better than that. -Mom.
Triple backflip!
Huh?
(HIGH-PITCHED LAUGH)
Gerti?
What did you... Why?
Oh, don't even get me started.
Just wait till Mom finds out you tried to take over the world again.
No. Please, please, please. Don't tell your mother. Please?
DONNAGON: (STAMMERING) Hello. Hello, there, Mr. President.
By order of the President, you've been temporarily disavowed.
You're fired.
Looks like I lost this round, but I'll be back.
Hopefully, you're on the good side next time.
We'll see, but you never know.
Don't worry. He gets out of line, I'll straighten him out.
You go, Gerti.
You tried to save us. Why?
Because you are my family.
You know, there isn't a man on this earth
we'd ever think would be good enough for our daughter,
-but... -You come pretty close.
By order of the President, you are the new director of the OSS.
Congratulations.
Do... Are they...
Level One.
No, thanks.
-You don't want it? -I'm leaving the OSS.
I've seen what it takes to be a top spy,
and I think I can be of better use to the world by just being the best me.
But what about all the cool gadgets?
I got the best gadget right here.
Use number one, a stylish bracelet.
-See you around? -Yes.
CARMEN: Go ahead. Say it.
-JUNI: What? -"I told you so."
JUNI: Never.
Wait.
-Thank you. -You got it, boss.
(ROARING)
CROWD: (CHANTING) Carmen! Carmen! Carmen! Carmen!
-I am not going out there. -Yes, you are.
You're a spy, you're undercover,
and you have to make them think you're a pop star.
I can't sing.
Who can these days?
I can't tell you how many artists have used my Machete miracle microphone.
(SINGING PERFECTLY) l can't sing
This'll make you dance like Britney Lopez.
What about me?
This'll make you play like Angus Van Santana.
-Cool. -Now get out there and rock!
(SINGING POP SONG)
(ALL CHEERING)
(SINGING IN SPANISH)
(PLAYING ROCK GUITAR SOLO)
What, are you surprised your gadgets work?
I just realized I never put any batteries in this.
MAN: Action.
Back to one.
Ready.
Yeah, but...
MAN: Hold those positions, guys, we're looking at light on her face.
Oops.
My precious.
We're nearing the destination zone, where all...
WOMAN: No. And then the next sentence is
"The location radius where all the disappearances."
We're nearing destination zone.
The location radius where all the disappear...
Stop!
Okay.
We're nearing destination zone, where all the...
Stop!
I know it. I don't know it.
Juni, take wheel!
(CREW LAUGHING)
What is it?
Okay, what is it?
Okay.
Well, well, well, well...
Man, you're not an easy man to find, you and your island of Leeke Leeke.
I'm Dinky. Winks, that is.
Heard you had a wild place here, and sir,
I was thinking you might be interested in a little business proposition.
You ready? Theme park.
Think about it.
Families on safari, crazy critters running all over the place.
Hi, there, fella.
Whoa!
You can see it already, can't you?
We'd be great together. What do you say? wara.kentir.bb ~ .::.W-BB.org.::.